I just realized that I left you hanging. The wedding went off with a hitch. And from our guests’ comments, it seemed like our atomic 50s luau was a success!
Of course, it was going to be surreal, yet amazingly fun, time for Craig and me. It should be after all the planning that goes into a weekend-long event like that. Looking at the pictures of me cracking up (or bawling), you don’t see me concocting pounds of vegan cashew cheese, bottling all the sauces or pouring over antiquated cookbooks from the 50s to convert the recipes to modern plant-based party versions. You don’t see me hunting down the perfect shade of red lipstick or the best Lucite choker to match the vintage dress that I found. You don’t see radio producer & music savant, Craig, scouring his record collection, record stores, vinyl fairs and the public library for just the perfect music for his 18 hour wedding soundtrack.
Since I love to analyze and get to the heart of everything, I’ve been really wondering what made me feel so energized and expansive that weekend. What you DO see is a lot of love taking shape in all different, special forms. I’m not going to sit here and go all Love-Is-All-You-Need-Beatles on you. I’m too practical for that. It’s not ALL that you need, but you really do need it, especially if you want to achieve some flow in life.
Love + flow? I haven’t lost my mind. Let me break it down, so you can see what I mean:
Love between Craig and I - This part is the no-brainer. We were the ones getting married. Of course, we love each other. Craig is my rock. We always joke that I’m the colorful kite whirling around in the wind, while he’s the person with two feet on terra firma letting the string in and out.
Love from our guests - Whether it’s your partner, a family member, a friend, a mentor, a coach, or a tribe, having at least one person to really support you can bolster your confidence. Then, you can go be the person that you want to be and do the things that really light you up. To have The Tribe of Craig + Kara roll in from all over the world for a couple days triggered a feeling of love that was atomic in proportions. One of the people most responsible for that nuclear reaction was wedding celebrant (or High Priestess as some decided to call her) Amanda Brown. She wrote the most heartfelt, funny ceremony that featured breakups, expletives and a live rendition of The Kinks’ “Act Nice and Gentle” by Uncle “Unja” John and friend Anders Bruus. (Yeah!)
Loving what we do - I mean more than just career here. When Craig and I first sat down to plan this atomic 50s Hawaiian luau rolling houseparty-vibed weekend, we sat down with those giant (and mind-numbing) wedding to-do lists. We asked each other what we cared about. Turns out, Craig cared about the music, the beer and meat (which was sustainably sourced from 7th Heaven Farm). I cared about presenting plant-based versions of Hawaiian or 50s dishes that were balanced in flavor and color. OK, plus a whole lot of punch and drinks that sparkled. We both cared that it felt like some of the themed houseparties that I’ve thrown over the years. We called on our strengths and focused on the things that we love to do.
What we didn’t love, we cut out. Why did we want to use up all of our time, energy and money on things that didn’t inspire flow? Instead of focusing our attention on things that would snag us or cause us to spin our wheels, we stuck to what we really desired the day would be and what details fascinated us.
Maybe you’re not planning a wedding right now or never. Where could you find more flow in your life today? That kind of flow that’s straight from the heart and energizing. What clutter from your to-do list can you just scratch off undone (gasp!) because it’s not getting you to a place that your really desire? I’d love to hear what you kicked to the curb in the comments below.